#2 The Red-legged Honeycreeper

Let me make it clear right away; this bird doesn't eat honey or creep around all sneaky. I don't really understand why it's called a honeycreeper? That's like the Hamburgler of birds, which seems an unfair comparison to draw with this little guy. I guess they do eat nectar, which is like honey only not because honey is bee puke and nectar is plant ooze. Oh well. Science doesn't have to make sense for it to work, as long as it's still science.

Red-legged Honeycreepers live in South America and fly around all day having fun and eating nectar and bugs. They tend to live on cocoa and citrus plantations, which is awesome because I would love to live on a chocolate lemon farm. They have super thin beaks they use to draw out nectar. I bet it would be hard to give a BJ with a thin bird beak. I bet it would be hard to give a BJ with any sort of bird mouth. I'm sorry I wrote that.

They live in cups in trees. I mean cup nests. But whenever I read cup nest, I just think of like, a mug from an insurance company or a re-useable slurpee cup. That's not what they look like though. They look like little tubes of cute birds. Also, they occasionally look like wangs and that is very funny. If you get enough wang nests in one tree then it is like a wang tree and oh man. Wang tree? Everybody's dream come true.

The only sad thing about the Red-legged Honeycreeper is that its mortal nemesis is The Ferruginous Pygmy Owl. The owl tricks the honeycreeper by imitating honeycreeper calls and then it eats their face. What a dick! Although, I can see how easy it would be to imitate the honeycreeper. I learned how to do it on the internet (it is kind of like a TSIP sound). Maybe that is where owls learn things these days. The world is changing and that scares me. What if owls learn how to imitate us and we think we're going to a rad party but we're actually just walking into an owl's house who then bites our face off? Awful.

I also watched a video of Red-legged Honeycreepers and fun fact! They love bananas.

-Sarah F.

Red-legged Honeycreeper with a fucked up goo mouth.


Ferruginous Pygmy Bastard Owl